Growing Old

The whole of last week my church friends and I were helping an old lady shift house. She is 92 years old and stays alone in a big bungalow with an enormous compound. Her husband is dead. Her children are residing overseas. Since December 2009, her house has been burgled 3 times. The third time, which happened 2 weeks ago, was bad. Two men forced her into her house. She sat and watched as they ransacked her home. They even took away her car! Time for her to move to a smaller and safer place.

While helping her pack her personal belongings, we came across many photo albums. Pictures of old times spent together with her late husband and children.

“I don’t want them!” she said. She only took photographs of her late husband with her.

I looked at her and wondered, “What thoughts are running through her mind?”

Suddenly, I remembered an article which I had read in The Star. It was about a man who found and read his mother’s dairy after she had passed away. One of her entries was addressed to her grandchild...

“To my beloved grandchild, Rahul.”

“Rahul, I love you very much. We all love you very much, especially your parents. And my child, don’t ever do anything that will hurt them.”

“Rahul, I hope that you grow up to be like your father. However, do not make the mistakes your father made. I know, Rahul, that your father is a very good man. He just forgot to do something that was important to me.”

“Rahul, after some time, a person experiences emptiness in her or his life. As parents grow old, a certain fear comes into their mind. Are they a burden to their children?”

“Rahul, if ever your mother or father have no one else to turn to, make sure you are there. Make sure you have time for them.

Go to their bedroom and talk to them. Look at old albums and talk about old times spent together. They will feel good and wanted. Sometimes hug them as they hugged you when you were young. Call out your mother’s name just like you did when you were young.

“God will always take care of you. Those who take care of their parents will always be taken care of. Your mother and father have always taken care of me. You too must take care of them and remember the things I have written to you.”

“My child, when someone grows old, their biggest enemy is loneliness. In their old age, make your parents feel wanted. Take extra care of them. Every day, make them feel their presence in the house. Each day say ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ six or seven times because they love to hear that...”

I then thought of my late father. He lived in Penang while I settled down in Johore. Yes... I am also guilty. “Pa,” I called out to my father. But it is too late.